Seniors/Grandparents

» Maryan Pelland - Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting

I lost my dad to Alzheimer's a year ago. There have been sad moments during the year, but I found myself happy to remember how much fun Dad was and how much I enjoyed the past three years with him. I treasure those memories and encourage anyone facing that kind of outcome with a loved one to live in the moment and tresure what you have today. It makes it so much easier to find treasured memories later.
What do you think?

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» Carolbb - Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting

In response to Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting posted by maryan:

maryan,
I've written so much about those kinds of memories. I spent two decades caring for seven elders. Four of them had dementia, the most devastating of which was my dad's instant dementia after brain surgery. He lived for ten years in a kind of mental hell. The only way to deal with this after death is to heal by traveling back in time to when these loved ones were "themselves." When dementia lasts many years, it becomes hard to remember the good times; the times when we all had fun. But this is vital to the healing process. Though I'll never want to erase the years of caring for dementia afflicted parents, I do want to have memories of them before their dementia remain in the forefront of my mind. It's a struggle and takes time, but is worth the effort. Photos of them when they were whole can mean a lot. Stories told about when I was young - when they were at their peak - help me travel back to the days that I know they'd want me to remember.
I write about this often. I (and the others I interviewed) reflect on these issues in my caregiving support book "Minding Our Elders." My Web site and blog give much information and comfort. Feel free to check out www.mindingoureldersblogs.com. All the best with rebuilding your memories.
Carol Bradley Bursack
Minding Our Elders

-- posted by Carolbb

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» Maryan Pelland - Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting

In response to Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting posted by Carolbb:
Thanks for your input, Carol.

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» Brenda Lane - Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting

In response to Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting posted by maryan:

My father-in-law is 85 and had a heart attack last summer and recently diagnosed with dementia. Right after his 3rd open heart surgery in 2 days last summer (as soon as he was stable and eating and talking) I sent him a long letter with all of my memories of he and my mother-in-law, thanking them for the role they played in our lives and for raising such a wonderful son!
I knew that there was a chance we might not have much time with him and I didn't want to lose the opportunity.

Now with his dementia, I doubt he would really be able to focus or remember any of those memories from 25 years ago so I am so glad I listened to prompting and wrote that letter last summer!

We are indeed in the classic sandwich generation of aging parents and kids still at home (one on college and the other in hs.)
Brenda

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» Maryan Pelland - Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting

In response to Aging, baby boomers, grandparenting posted by brendapreg:
I like what you did for your in-laws, and for yourself, in sending the letter.

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