Some 44 million Americans are caring for frail elderly loved ones, a challenging task. It's easier if you respect the person you're caring for and yourself.
CAMMY SEGUIN, Family Life Educator at the University of Illinois Extension Office has some important advice for those of us facing the deterioration of our parent or spouse’s mental capacities. She says, in an article in a Central Illinois Journal-Gazette online that patience and respect are key ingredients to successful interactions.
If we all keep that in mind in our dealings with other people, how can we fail?
Our parent or spouse, has been the object of our love for so many years, and now may have become our biggest challenge and the root of deep sadness in our life. So, says Seguin, “Begin by becoming aware of what your parent is going through. Try to see the adversity being faced through the eyes of the older person. Even if the parent has become confused, irritable or demanding, he deserves respect for perseverance and strength.”
She advises seeking professional help so you don’t feel like you’re all alone. Taylor any action plan to the specific needs of your loved one – pay attention to what gets a positive response and what makes you both more comfortable and secure.
I’ll add to that great advice – respect yourself, too. Make sure you arrange for support and help for yourself as caregiver. If you’re a mom (or dad), you remember how important it was to refuel yourself when you were busy raising your children. If you spent all your time and attention on the kids and neglected your own needs and well-being, you found quickly found yourself depleted. Your patience flagged, your energy level took a nose dive and your mood was often bleak.
Talk to your own physician about your health needs. Get regular checkups. Take medicines prescribed for you exactly the way you’re instructed to take them. Find some sort of respite care assistant, whether it’s another family member, a friend, or a hired sitter, so you can go out at least weekly to do something that makes you feel energized.
Make sure you get enough sleep and pay attention to the health component of your diet. If you need help or ideas, drop in at the Family Caregiver Alliance, National Center on Caregiving. They have amazing resources.
