Planning a funeral is something that nobody hopes to do. However, when a death comes, whether it is unexpected or as the result of a long illness, the funeral needs to be arranged quickly.
The majority of people opt for a cremation and so this article assumes that type of ceremony, but burials, particularly woodland burials are growing in popularity.
The funeral director will give guidance and may suggest a suitable priest or religious officiant to conduct the ceremony. This may not be appropriate for everyone, however, and those who have lived without a religious faith are more likely to want a civil funeral.
There are a number of independent funeral officiants practicing in the UK, but the main network of non-religious funeral celebrants is run by the British Humanist Association whose officiants go through a rigorous training and accreditation programme.
Once the celebrant has been chosen, he or she will visit the family of the deceased to spend some time learning about the person who has died including the life story, that person's interests and the things that made him unique. The celebrant will also discuss with all aspects of the ceremony, including who (if any) of the family members or friends would like to speak and the choices of music and readings.
Most crematoria set a time limit of 30 minutes per ceremony, although it is often possible to book a double time-slot, which is particularly useful if there are many people who want to pay a tribute to the person who has died.
The celebrant will then compose the script and conduct the ceremony on the day.
Structure of a Cremation Ceremony
The following is a guide to the most usual funeral structure. It is by no means prescriptive, but is a formula that works well.
- Introductory Music – This is usually the most sombre of the music pieces chosen, but bear in mind that the congregation will be coming in and settling to this music, and so any meaningful words may not be carefully listened to.
- Words of welcome – By the celebrant on behalf of the family.
- The tribute – Any family members wishing to speak or read poetry would be encouraged to go first – they are the most important part of the ceremony. Then the celebrant will talk about the deceased, detailing the highlights of his or her life.
- Moment for private reflection – (and silent prayer for those in the congregation with a religious faith). This can be in silence, or accompanied by music.
- The committal – when the curtains are closed (if this is the family’s request).
- Closing words, usually including poetry, thanks and details of the wake, as appropriate.
- Final music – usually the most upbeat of the pieces chosen.
After the ceremony, the celebrant will usually hand a copy of the script to the chief mourner, and then be the first to leave the chapel. He or she will wait for the family and other mourners outside (usually at the place where any flowers are displayed).
