Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
More and More Grandparents are Rearing Children for a Second Time
Mar 25, 2009
In a 2001 Statistics Canada report entitled “Various Tables regarding Family Household Living Arrangements,”data indicated that 56,700 grandparents, or one per cent of all grandparents, lived with their grandchildren without either of the childrens' parents. Of those, 25,200 were aged 14 or under. Two-thirds of the grandparents are women, and 46 per cent of grandparents raising grandchildren are retired.
Grandparents as primary caregivers for grandchildren face special challenges and have a variety of needs that typical parents do not face. Many of the children being raised by grandparents have psychological and/or physical problems related to their earlier experiences. They may have experienced home conditions that affected growth physically, emotionally, and/or socially. At best, many are grieving some loss of their own parents.
The problems may have started at birth, such as low birth weight, drug addiction, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, HIV/AIDS, and other physical and emotional disabilities. Other problems include Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), adjustment and attachment disorders, learning disabilities and other mental health disorders. Experiencing multiple living arrangements is often stressful and compounds any emotional disorders developing in childhood.
More than 3.9 Million Grandparents are Raising their Grandchildren in their Homes
Many grandparents raising grandchildren face ongoing issues around the basic physical, emotional, and financial adjustments they must make. Many have sacrificed their life savings to save their grandchild. In addition, many grandparents who are parenting their grandchildren are deprived of a positive relationship with their own child. In fact, many start their role grieving an actual or emotional death of their child.
Most common for grandparents is the impact related to the costs of raising children in a world of fixed retirement incomes. For younger grandparents, there is also the strain of having to provide additional monies while still working for the same pay cheque. Other areas where grandparents face financial impact are:
- Cost of drugs/dental assistance for those without insurance or social assistance benefits
- Expenses for sports, summer camps, etc.
- Child care for working grandparents with pre-school grandchildren
- Legal costs related to custody reviews
- Ongoing basic care on a month-to-month basis (food, clothing, shelter)
Factors Leading to Grandparent Stress
Grandparents taking on the primary parental role for their grandchildren share a common experience of feeling the burden of increased financial costs. Some of the factors that contribute to the high stress factors are:
- Conflict, disappointment and uncertain involvement with biological parents
- Stressful visit with biological parents
- Physical demands of parenting young or teenaged children on middle aged or elderly grandparents
- Anger and confusion of grandchildren regarding relationships with their biological parents and/or grandparents
- Uncertainty of how to discipline children who already may be emotionally fragile or have other special needs related to their formative years or experiences
- Workload related to supporting grandchildren in addition to other family obligations, jobs in some cases, other important spousal or parental relationships, etc.
- Loss of freedom, isolation in the role, loss of former social networks, lack of a readily available support system for many grands
Providing grandchildren with a sense of security by helping them to grow in their self-confidence, self-identity, self-respect, and self-esteem brings joys as well as challenges to many grandparents.
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