Grandparents Can Build Memories
Treat Your Grandchildren to a Lifetime of Remembrances
Grandparents may be the luckiest people on earth. They have the time and tools to create joy in children's lives and wrap it in love. A privilege of age.
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A little effort builds memories to last your grandchildren a lifetime. Of course you remember sweet, loving things your grandparents did for you, don't you? But isn't it harder to remember things they bought you?
Keep that in mind when you interact with your grandkids. You can be a buffer between your grandchildren's healthy, happy psyches and the fears they face in today's world. Even second-graders worry about guns, violence, death. Dr. Phil says one of the most significant bonds in a child's life is the loving bond with grandparents. Be there for them.
Our memories are steeped in smells, feelings and flavors. Remember grandmother lifting you up on the bathroom or kitchen sink. Right before bed, she might have washed your face with a soft, warm cloth. Can you still feel that warmth--smell her scent in her soap?
You knew she loved you more than anybody. She made each grandkid feel that way, even if she had 30.
It's simple to weave such gentle bonds. Teach your own grandkids a tune on the piano. Notes a little off? Who cares. So what if it isn't Chopin.
Tell your granddaughter she's pretty. Teach her to catch a baseball. Bake bread with your grandson. Dig for worms--catch a frog. Say nice things about their parents, about how special mom and dad were as children. Teach your grandkids that their parents have your respect and deserve theirs.
Grandparents are such a subtle, good influence, if they want to be. Teach the children common, homey chores--set a formal table with them, sew a straight seam by hand, build bookends. No pressure, no criticism.
The delightful responsibility of passing family traditions to the younger generation happily falls to grandma and grandpa. Tell the kids why your family eats limpa bread at Christmas or makes red eggs at Easter. Who started the tradition? Why? Where did that claw foot table come from? Who made that coverlet?
We'll lose important rituals if we don't share history. And sharing a hug at the same time makes the strongest memory.
Grandparents may be the luckiest people on earth. You have time to create memories from wholesome activities like going for ice cream, reading a story slowly--not skipping any words because it's past bedtime, counting dots on a ladybug, even if grandpa has to get his reading glasses first. You can be safe harbor--a place where kids can talk about anything without fear of criticism.
Recognize the pressures weighing on mom and dad. Be a strong confidant. When mom is pulled in a dozen directions, and your granddaughter has to tell someone about her new boyfriend--give her your time and sensitive feedback. She'll learn to trust you with thoughts easier to handle when safely shared.
You can't spoil a child by giving these sorts of gifts: Experiences, treasured mementos, a piece of yourself, positive self-image, a truckload of self-esteem. Catch your grandchildren in the act of doing something right. Praise them--a lot. Be interested in their grades, activities, their thoughts and feelings. Listen more than you advise.
Every child is unique. You can treasure that specialness and choose activities to suit each child. Love their individuality. You can make each child feel as though he is the most important.
If you make time to be a strength in your grandchildren's lives, with open arms, open ears, and an open mind, you will make a path for them in a complicated world. Take them to Disneyworld if you can afford it, but in the long run, they'll remember you more as trusted friend. Beautiful memories. Fancy price tags just don't matter.
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