Caring for Aging Elderly Parents

Support for Senior Citizen's Helping Care for Their Older Parents

Apr 2, 2008 Janienne Jennrich

Advice and support for those younger seniors caring for their elderly parents or other relatives. Article covers physical and mental health, patience, senior depression.

As family members age, adult senior children are often put in the position of caring for an elderly parent. Many times the parent moves into the adult child’s home, or into a senior group home or facility. In either case, it means extra responsibility for the "child," who is already a senior himself or herself.

Support for a Senior Caring for an Elderly Parent

Caring for a elderly parent requires patience, kindness and hard work from the senior care giver. Depending on the situation, this work may be physical, mental or both. One who may already be dealing with aging issues of their own may become trapped in a cycle of caring for another, sleeping, waking up, and starting all over again the next day. To avoid this, those senior citizens caring for an elderly relative need to build a support system of helpers, get plenty of rest, take time off when possible, and continue living their own life.

If the caretaker stays in good spirits and health, it helps everyone involved. Rather than feeling that it is selfish to rest, the caretaker needs to look at relaxation as an important part of the job. Everyone needs breaks to work their best.

Physical Health Concerns for Seniors

When caring for an elderly parent, it’s easy to become focused on their physical needs. If those needs are time-consuming, they may use all one’s energy, especially if a senior is already having physical difficulties of her own (such as arthritis or back issues). Having a support system of other relatives, perhaps grown children/grandchildren and maybe a nurse or another part-time caretaker, can be a big help. If appropriate, physical therapy is often an option through the elder’s doctor. One may also find helpful senior products.

Mental Health Concerns of Senior Citizens

When older seniors can no longer care for themselves, they may become frustrated. This can sometimes be vented as anger toward care giving adult children and others close to them. Reminding a frustrated elder of his accomplishments (even such little things as having gotten dressed and looking nice) can help. Telling an elder that caretakers love him and are only attempting to help can be comforting. Sometimes a change of pace is in order. Getting outside, reminiscing about pleasant times, or doing some other fun and light activity may help.

Patience with Elderly Parents

Caretakers may find their patience tested when an elderly parent speaks, moves, thinks, or eats slowly or with difficulty. If the elder is slowing down in mental and physical ways, it is still important to allow him to maintain as much dignity as possible. There are special tools and products designed for senior citizens to help them help themselves. See Gift Tips for Less Active Seniors for such ideas.

Some Possible Reasons for Senior Citizen Depression

• Seniors may develop low self-esteem, diminished self worth, and lose their sense of identity.
• Homebound elderly with bright minds may become bored with daily life, stuck at home.
• Loneliness and the loss of friends and family of their generation can be difficult to handle.
• Often senior citizens have financial burdens that bother them.
• Poor health, including chronic aches and pains, can lead to depression.

If a relative for whom you are caring displays any of the above symptoms, consider discussing them with a doctor. The same goes for caretakers.

Finding Happy Moments with an Elderly Parent or Grandparent

While there are many challenges to caring for an older person, the joys are also many. These are times for making special memories through discussions of childhood events, reviewing photo albums, and recording stories of the past. If an elder parent has lost memories and bodily control, these things may be difficult. In these types of cases, adult children must look deeply to see the person they once knew and still embrace the person their parent has become. It can help to cherish the little moments of connection, the small successes, and the smiles.

Also see Memory Help for Senior Citizens, Fun Activities for Senior Citizens and Fun Visits With Senior Citizens

Resources:

Psychology Info Website, Depression in Seniors, National Institute of Mental Health (primary resource)

The copyright of the article Caring for Aging Elderly Parents in Seniors/Grandparents is owned by Janienne Jennrich. Permission to republish Caring for Aging Elderly Parents in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Lovely Elderly Hands

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Dec 4, 2008 6:39 AM

Guest :

I am a 57-year old woman who cares for my 94-year old mother-in-law.My husband has back and shoulder problems requiring surgery in 2009. Although he tries to help, the basic needs of my m-o-l are my responsibility. Physically she is doing pretty well, but mentally, she is becoming more suspicious, less appreciative, and in general tries my patience on a wide range of things from hiding my dog's leash to accusing me of not letting her do her laundry. Our relationship has deteriorated from good to miserable. Hiring a sitter is not financially possible, and family members are out of state.
I am considering taking an herbal mood enhancer such as St. John's Wort. Has anyone taken such an aid, and is there any success? I have no trouble sleeping, and have for one year as of Dec. 6, spent my nights at my mother-in-law's home because she is fearful of being alone.
I sometimes feel that my patience is about to explode. Help me with your feedback. I do not like the person I am becoming.

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